Planet Name: Iakarlan Sonoi
System Name: Ayugkal
Region: Kapatrul Sector
Galaxy: Euclid
Discovered By: Poutine
Coordinates:

Planet Biome: Radioactive Planet
Resources: Gamma Root, Copper, Uranium, Silver
Protection Requirements: Radiation
Weather: Contaminated Puddles
Resources: Fair
Fauna: Full
Flora: Rich
Sentinels: Intermittent

First Impression: Terror as I crash-landed into a radioactive jungle! I had a clear route but the thrusters or whatever they’re called backfired and I went straight into the trees. Did you know a giant ship like this can destroy everything in its path?

After inspecting the damage (very cringe) I ventured out into the wide, radioactive world. The landscape alternated between barren land and lush forests of pestilent plants covered in blistering pustules, rocks carved out by the harsh elements, and twisted fauna, which I’ll get to right here and now.

Meet P. Bestfimosa, my newest creature pet (I hadn’t branded him yet in this photo). See how he’s turned his head backward and looking at us? Don’t let the cutey face fool you, the wind hit him the wrong direction and his neck is stuck that way. Listen to your mothers, my friend.

P. Bestfimosa

Gender:
Asymmetric

Weight/Height:
85.0kg/1.8m

Notes:
Found on planet Iakarlan Sonoi, where they had adapted to the hot, highly-radioactive atmosphere. A vicious beast, it attracts a mate by creating a grisly display from the bones of its prey. Unsophisticated and unrestrained carnivores, they feast upon the raw flesh of their fallen prey.

Additional Observations:
Occasionally invisible

I happened to read this after noticing this adorable monster consuming the meat of another creature. I’m somewhat of a carnivore myself, so I can’t blame him. Let’s get to his victim, now, the P. Dankecdumium.

P. Dankecdumium

Gender:
Male

Weight/Height:
121.9kg/2.8m

Notes:
P. Dankecdumium was first recorded in the shattered remains of planet Iakarlan Sonoi, thriving despite the nuclear storms. Their lives seem spent in constant anxiety; they are tense and fearful even on a genetic level. Spoor analysis reveals a high-fibre diet. Primary nutrient source appears to be excavated plant roots.

Additional Observations:
Sleeps standing up.

Now this is a creature I can get behind. Anxiety on a cellular level? No, genetic level! A jellyfish-turned-biological horror is afraid of little old me and my little old multi-tool. Another situation where I can feel lots of empathy for the big guy.

So I took this melonfarmer for a ride in the rocky fields that lacked any vegetation whatsoever. This kept me entertained for a good fifteen minutes while I relaxed, let the crabby jellyfish lead the way, and scanned my surroundings. Remember this guy is supposed to be anxious? I think riding his back didn’t help matters. We zoomed pretty far in that short period of time.

Which leads us to the Trade Station.

Notice how it says this planet was discovered by moi?

How on earth, I mean, how on Iakarlan Sonoi did this entire Trade Station appear within an hour of crashing my starship on this planet? The Vy’keen inside did not have any good answers for me, or if they did, I couldn’t understand them anyway. Note I called my starship to the station. Not too worse for wear, if I do say so myself.

Who said Radioactive can’t look tasty? I imagine these spicy fellas would be great mixed in with my guacamole.

Or could I have this sweet candy for dessert? Look past those mushrooms.. they weren’t harvestable, so they probably are healthy or don’t taste good. I can say that with full confidence because everything that’s actually bad for you is happy to blow some spores up on your face.

I couldn’t stop by a planet without searching out the caverns. These hillside chambers were full of mushrooms, cilantro, and more Christmas Trees.

Sometimes the best view in a cave is the way out. Glorious golden fog awaited me upon my exit, and I found myself a little sad to leave. But I had a mission to turn in, and business is business.